Thank God I’ve Never Been Mutton Shamed — Yet!

This post is an updated archive from my original blog from February 2017 but scarily still absolutely relevant.

‘Mutton shaming’ was a phrase coined from a New York Times article that started doing the rounds at the back in 2016.  I noticed an article not long after that referenced it again doing the Facebook rounds although this one had spun the original on it’s head and features:

11 Older Women With Truly Inspirational Style

Back to the mutton shaming, though. The woman in the original article that was the subject of the abuse was only 36 at the time — yikes!!

Apparently, the guy she was with whispered in her ear —

“There comes a time when old lady dresses are no longer ironic’

I can see why the article stated he was a ‘former’ partner, can’t you?

What turned into an insult started out way back in in 1811 as a compliment when the future King of England was asked did he like a particular girl at a ball and he was reported to retort,

“Girls are not to my taste. I don’t like lamb; but mutton dressed like lamb!’

Ever since then though the Prince of Wales’ compliment rapidly degenerated into an insult for older women. It’s so fucking cruel.

Turns out it doesn’t matter what age we are we’re getting it all the time,  derided constantly for whatever we wear or how we look.

All through life it’s the same blah blah blah …

‘That makes you look too old”

“You look a bit chubby in that dress”

‘That’s too short — you look like a hooker!’

‘You shouldn’t show your legs any more’

‘You can’t wear that now at your age!’

Why aren’t men subjected to this same dress code and looks scrutiny? Does anyone know? I even remember the story about a woman being sacked for refusing to wear high heels at work. When does it ever stop? It seems it’s relentless.

I don’t care whether anyone likes what I wear. If I think I can pull something off with confidence then that’s good enough for me. I will be brutally honest and say I’m not even bothered what Mr B thinks or anyone.

It’s probably more that I chose a partner in life who loves me for who I am not what I wear. He has always adored my quirkiness and is not made of the weak stuff that seeks to undermine women by making them feel insecure. I’m probably secure enough in myself because he enhances that part of my femininity. Who really knows? I just know I don’t care and neither should any woman.

I’m also realistic and know its not that easy for many women

When I decided to update this post in Autumn 2021 it was because the buzz  insult phrase was now all about ‘body shaming’.  It brought to the forefront of my mind from the online victimisation of  Strictly star, Tilly Ramsey.

I really felt for the kid. She was 19 at the time FFS.

I hope that through updating and posting this we can all inspire and support each other to be strong and hopefully build up our confidence.

Here’s me in 2021. Showing my legs aged 58. I must admit for a nano second I did question myself in the mirror. That’s how society makes us think and feel, doesn’t it? Then I thought fuck it .. I like my legs.

There really are no rules and if the worse thing I can do in life is dress for me then I will end up a very happy old lady and as one of my favourites, Helen Mirren once said,

“Growing old is not for pussies – you’ve got to have courage. But then, you’ve got to have courage in life anyway.”

And here’s a selection of some great comments from my original blog post;

“Another facet of being a woman in a patriarchal world. Men are seen to get ‘sexier’ as they age but women should be shamed. It’s disgusting and really makes me mad.”

“The great thing about getting old is that we are less like sheep: we know our own minds and we’re not so bothered about what everyone else thinks.”

“It’s been so enlightening realising that clothes are just clothes—why not have fun with them and use them as tools?”

“Oh goodness….My answer is absolutely not am I governed by age. Obviously there are some items I won’t wear but not because of age , because it’s a style I don’t feel comfortable in. Probably wouldn’t have when I was 20!”

“It’s never happened to me but I do think it tends to be other women who pull women down. It can be men though. Whether it’s a man or a woman the person who does this does it to make themselves feel better and they lack confidence.
Wear what you want and look for people who give you compliments and be that person, too.”

I’d love to know your thoughts.

Is what you wear governed by your age or worse still have you ever been mutton shamed?

Let me know in the comments.

Lots of love,