Netflix’s Adolescence Holds Up A Mirror To Us All
Exploring the consequences of the choices we all make every day
We love pointing fingers at ‘kids these days’—glued to their screens, lacking resilience, not knowing how to have real conversations.
But maybe the real problem isn’t them.
Maybe it’s us.
I would argue that kids aren’t naturally addicted to screens; they’re following the lead of the grown-ups around them. We’ve taught them. We’ve set the example. We’ve been showing them that constant connectivity trumps presence, that work emails matter more than family dinner time sat around the table, that scrolling is more urgent than sleep.
We’ve normalised the very behaviours that we now claim to despise in the younger generation. We act surprised now that kids have developed short attention spans, but we’ve spent years swiping and scrolling away our own. We lament their inability to entertain themselves, yet we rarely sit in stillness without checking our phones. And when we do call out their screen time, it reeks of hypocrisy—because they see us doing the exact same thing.
This isn’t a ‘kids-these-days’ problem.
It’s an ‘adults-these-days’ crisis.
And the real work isn’t in policing teenagers—it’s in fixing our own habits first and foremost
It’s Holding Up A Mirror To Us
The Netflix series Adolescence lays bare the struggles that today’s teenagers face as they navigate an environment shaped by adults who are failing to protect them from the worst aspects of online life. It’s a stark reminder that the systems we’ve built—social media, digital surveillance, and the relentless push and need for engagement—are warping adolescent development in ways we’re only just beginning to understand.
The series doesn’t just highlight the problem; it forces us to reckon with our complicity in it. If we want to break the cycle, we have to stop blaming kids for adapting to a world we have created.
A Generational Divide: Who Got Caught in the Wave?
My own kids, now 27 and 31, just missed the tidal wave of social media and smartphone dependency that defines adolescence today. They only just managed a childhood with some level of boredom, they had real-world friendships, and the ability to be unreachable—something kids today can barely fathom.
The shift was rapid and all-consuming, leaving today’s teenagers in a world where constant digital connection is the norm.
That said, my youngest son got heavily hooked on gaming around the age of 14—a different but equally immersive online escape. While social media addiction is often the focus, gaming worlds can be just as consuming, drawing players into endless cycles of rewards, engagement and online social interaction. There’s people lying in wait there in the shadows, too. It’s another side of the same coin, showing how technology in all its forms has reshaped how our kids experience connection, achievement and popularity.
The Influence of Toxic Role Models
Former England manager, Sir Gareth Southgate addressed the impact of "callous, manipulative, and toxic influencers" on young men in his recent Dimbleby Lecture. He observed that the absence of positive role models has left a void filled by individuals who promote harmful ideals, equating success with money, misogyny and dominance while discouraging emotional intelligence.
Southgate's insights highlight the broader issue: that us adults are failing to provide guidance and exemplify healthy behaviours.
What’s Real and What’s Not?
On top of all this, kids are now facing even more challenges figuring out what’s real in the age of AI. Deepfakes, AI-generated content and misinformation blur the lines between truth and fabrication. Adolescents aren’t just scrolling for entertainment now—they’re trying to discern reality from manipulation. When AI can generate lifelike videos, mimic voices, and flood social media with convincing but false narratives, critical thinking becomes a survival skill.
Shouldn’t we as adults be learning how to guide them through this? How many of us can confidently say we know how to navigate the AI-driven world ourselves? If we don’t step up and provide kids with the tools to question, analyse, and verify information, they’ll be left to figure it out alone.
Is It Too Late For Us To Relearn What It Means to Be Present?
Presence isn’t just about putting our phones down. It’s about re-engaging with the world in a way that many of us abandoned years ago. It’s about making eye contact, embracing silence, and rediscovering the simple, analog joys we once took for granted. Adolescence makes this painfully clear—when adults disconnect from the real world, children are left to navigate the online minefield alone.
The Tech Landscape Is Designed To Keep Us Hooked
Big Tech isn’t just targeting kids—it’s after all of us.
If we, as supposedly self-aware adults, are struggling to resist, imagine how much harder it is for children who’ve never known a world without these devices?
Adolescence exposes the devastating effects of this, showing how digital dependency erodes identity, mental health, and real-world relationships. The best thing we can do is acknowledge that we’re all in the same trap, and then figure out how we can take meaningful steps to break free—together.
Future Generations Are Watching Us
If we want our kids to live differently, we have to show them a different way. We have to be the ones who change first.
Less doomscrolling, more conversation.
Less distraction, more presence.
Less hypocrisy, more accountability.
It’s not them.
It’s us.
And that means we have to figure out how to fix it. And quick.
Have you seen Adolescence? What are you thoughts?
Really well said, Sharon. I was blown away by Adolescence. Still thinking about it. But you're right, adults are often glued to their phones and I have to hold my hand up. It's given me a lot of food for thought.
Like yours, my children are adults. My daughters, late thirties, escaped smart phones. I remember conceding and getting them Nokia "bricks" when they were 15. MSN messenger was their social media. My son's 23 and like yours he got very immersed in video games as a teen. He's steered clear of most social media sites, but watched a lot of YouTube. He's a teacher himself now and very aware of the issues.
The worst year for him was when he started secondary school and there was an experiment to issue all the new intake with iPad minis, which they could use in school or at home. The staff noticed the zombifying effect on that year group and so did I! I was so relieved when the school stopped the experiment at the end of the year.
It was such a fantastic, thought provoking drama! The acting was outstanding from everyone involved but especially the ‘adolescent’. The twists and turns exposed how much we all have to accept it’s all of us! As they said it takes a village to raise a child. Well said Sharon.