We love pointing fingers at ‘kids these days’—glued to their screens, lacking resilience, not knowing how to have real conversations. But maybe the real problem isn’t them. Maybe it’s us.
My kids also just missed the boom and use social channels very lightly in comparison to younger ones. I’d say it’s me that uses it more (partly for my job) but I deleted TikTok entirely because I could feel it draining my brain. The algorithm started showing me really distressing material - for example, I’d watched a post from a woman who had escaped domestic violence so the algorithm took that to mean I’d like to see some in action. It’s seared on my brain - you can’t un-see something like that. It was clearly in a different country - there was nothing I could do - but it made me scared of what I might see next. On Instagram I see mainly beauty/comedy posts which is what, I suppose, blinds me to what is actually out there. Until you see what your kids see, it doesn’t really have any impact but one ‘wrong’ pause on some off-topic content and you surely will. I think some kind of mirror device that lets you view what your children are viewing might be helpful in educating parents into waking up to what’s happening.
It was such a fantastic, thought provoking drama! The acting was outstanding from everyone involved but especially the ‘adolescent’. The twists and turns exposed how much we all have to accept it’s all of us! As they said it takes a village to raise a child. Well said Sharon.
I was forever a bookworm, which can be another form of retreat. But I think the internet adds WAY more browsing material, this included 😊 …
I’m not sure where we cross a line but will need to watch Adolescence and will see if I feel like part of the problem!
It’s not just adolescents: About a quarter of 5-7 year olds now use smartphones apparently. Hopefully not on a device of their own or unsupervised. I can’t help feeling they’re in a world of tech that does not serve them well.
One habit that helps me to stay grounded as a parent is to keep a ‘one line a day’ diary that will ultimately cover five years. It becomes a log not of what I am thinking but of what we’ve been *doing* in the moment — and sometimes how to build on it. I usually end up recapping a glut of days in one go, but it’s always helpful.
Really well said, Sharon. I was blown away by Adolescence. Still thinking about it. But you're right, adults are often glued to their phones and I have to hold my hand up. It's given me a lot of food for thought.
Like yours, my children are adults. My daughters, late thirties, escaped smart phones. I remember conceding and getting them Nokia "bricks" when they were 15. MSN messenger was their social media. My son's 23 and like yours he got very immersed in video games as a teen. He's steered clear of most social media sites, but watched a lot of YouTube. He's a teacher himself now and very aware of the issues.
The worst year for him was when he started secondary school and there was an experiment to issue all the new intake with iPad minis, which they could use in school or at home. The staff noticed the zombifying effect on that year group and so did I! I was so relieved when the school stopped the experiment at the end of the year.
I think we've all been hoodwinked by Big Tech and we're in it up to our necks now. It's like society is literally being dismantled.
Zombifying is the perfect word that describes us the effect it's having on all our brains.
Sadly, my kids didn't completely swerve the wave because now as adults they are as addicted to their phones as anyone. It got them in the end one way or another.
I had a digital detox recently because I'm so acutely aware that I'm addicted.
I'm looking at these problems every day as I deliver and facilitate a tech stress/digital burnout workshop. We are all part of the problem. It seems no one has the answer and the kids now are the ultimate sacrifice.
My kids also just missed the boom and use social channels very lightly in comparison to younger ones. I’d say it’s me that uses it more (partly for my job) but I deleted TikTok entirely because I could feel it draining my brain. The algorithm started showing me really distressing material - for example, I’d watched a post from a woman who had escaped domestic violence so the algorithm took that to mean I’d like to see some in action. It’s seared on my brain - you can’t un-see something like that. It was clearly in a different country - there was nothing I could do - but it made me scared of what I might see next. On Instagram I see mainly beauty/comedy posts which is what, I suppose, blinds me to what is actually out there. Until you see what your kids see, it doesn’t really have any impact but one ‘wrong’ pause on some off-topic content and you surely will. I think some kind of mirror device that lets you view what your children are viewing might be helpful in educating parents into waking up to what’s happening.
It was such a fantastic, thought provoking drama! The acting was outstanding from everyone involved but especially the ‘adolescent’. The twists and turns exposed how much we all have to accept it’s all of us! As they said it takes a village to raise a child. Well said Sharon.
It is us all for sure. Don't know where we go from here because I think we're in neck deep. Thanks for joining the conversation with me, Annette.
It was devastating.
I was forever a bookworm, which can be another form of retreat. But I think the internet adds WAY more browsing material, this included 😊 …
I’m not sure where we cross a line but will need to watch Adolescence and will see if I feel like part of the problem!
It’s not just adolescents: About a quarter of 5-7 year olds now use smartphones apparently. Hopefully not on a device of their own or unsupervised. I can’t help feeling they’re in a world of tech that does not serve them well.
One habit that helps me to stay grounded as a parent is to keep a ‘one line a day’ diary that will ultimately cover five years. It becomes a log not of what I am thinking but of what we’ve been *doing* in the moment — and sometimes how to build on it. I usually end up recapping a glut of days in one go, but it’s always helpful.
Really well said, Sharon. I was blown away by Adolescence. Still thinking about it. But you're right, adults are often glued to their phones and I have to hold my hand up. It's given me a lot of food for thought.
Like yours, my children are adults. My daughters, late thirties, escaped smart phones. I remember conceding and getting them Nokia "bricks" when they were 15. MSN messenger was their social media. My son's 23 and like yours he got very immersed in video games as a teen. He's steered clear of most social media sites, but watched a lot of YouTube. He's a teacher himself now and very aware of the issues.
The worst year for him was when he started secondary school and there was an experiment to issue all the new intake with iPad minis, which they could use in school or at home. The staff noticed the zombifying effect on that year group and so did I! I was so relieved when the school stopped the experiment at the end of the year.
Thanks for your insightful contribution, Wendy.
I think we've all been hoodwinked by Big Tech and we're in it up to our necks now. It's like society is literally being dismantled.
Zombifying is the perfect word that describes us the effect it's having on all our brains.
Sadly, my kids didn't completely swerve the wave because now as adults they are as addicted to their phones as anyone. It got them in the end one way or another.
I had a digital detox recently because I'm so acutely aware that I'm addicted.
I'm looking at these problems every day as I deliver and facilitate a tech stress/digital burnout workshop. We are all part of the problem. It seems no one has the answer and the kids now are the ultimate sacrifice.