I felt bereft once when I realised (having dropped off another at Uni) we only had one son left here with us and he would be gone soon too. Then the world changed and said son did an OU Degree instead of going away and two sons came back!
Two years on and we stil have three of them here. I was getting a bit resentful. I have been a mum for 36 years but I haven't done their washing for years, we don't irn stuff generally, and recently I gave up cooking at weekends. I think 36 years is enough!
my eldest is very practical. just the man you want around if you need a hole drilling through a 12 inch wall or potholes in your drive filling with concrete. Oh and he pays his way. Middle son came back burned out and is recalibrating. It may take a while but he's agood cook and kind. Youngets son now looking for work and may move out but may get a remote job.
It could be a while....
Fortunately we all get on and laugh together and sometimes have great conversations.
While I am looking forward to having an empty nest at some point I won't be pushing them out.
Thanks for sharing your experience. i welled up reading it and makes me appreciate them even more.
i think it's a bit taboo to have adult children at home. My dad and my brother thinks it's time they stood on their own two feet! But what's the rush to do the adulting? As long as I can do the things I want to I'm happy. :o)
I was nodding along here Sharon! Us and our kidults...it's a different relationship but just as special. I miss so much about the younger years now the kidults growing up and independent - mine are 29, 27 and 23 - but I love the new relationships that are developing - and the ones I now have with their partners (which makes it even sadder if there are break-ups!) I totally feel for Mr B because my Mr B (#StressedHusband) sounds very similar...they keep it in when the kids fly off and I sort of think it's because they're doing it for us. Not that they are in any way the less important parent, but it feels like they know they need to dial down their feelings so they can support us with ours as empty nest mums - which is lovely of them. Like you, I'm loving the reconnecting with #StressedHusband now the kids are older - realising that I actually like spending time alone with him and after 33 years he still makes me laugh! Great post Sharon. xx
Everything you've said too, Lisa. I guess it's the way of the world of parenting. I'm so glad my boys like and love us enough to continue the adventures as you with your kids. I love having grown up adventures with them. But just like you now having the time of your life in Canada the empty nest adventures are sooooo good x
I felt exactly the same but I was single. So when one and the other went I hated it and this, as well as a lot of other things that had recently happened, meant I had a breakdown. But we’re all out the other side and my boys are happy but I still have that little pang when I realise they don’t live with me any more.
I think I just feel emotional today as it's my eldest's last 'first day' at primary school! So I know uni a long way off but I could just imagine the feeling when I was reading this! Yes of course, there's definitely some positives - will have to have a new hobby ready to start when they fly the nest!
Oh there’s so many milestones we have to go through as parents. I can still remember those days too. Looking back I honestly can’t believe how quickly it all came around.
I felt bereft once when I realised (having dropped off another at Uni) we only had one son left here with us and he would be gone soon too. Then the world changed and said son did an OU Degree instead of going away and two sons came back!
Two years on and we stil have three of them here. I was getting a bit resentful. I have been a mum for 36 years but I haven't done their washing for years, we don't irn stuff generally, and recently I gave up cooking at weekends. I think 36 years is enough!
my eldest is very practical. just the man you want around if you need a hole drilling through a 12 inch wall or potholes in your drive filling with concrete. Oh and he pays his way. Middle son came back burned out and is recalibrating. It may take a while but he's agood cook and kind. Youngets son now looking for work and may move out but may get a remote job.
It could be a while....
Fortunately we all get on and laugh together and sometimes have great conversations.
While I am looking forward to having an empty nest at some point I won't be pushing them out.
Thanks for sharing your experience. i welled up reading it and makes me appreciate them even more.
i think it's a bit taboo to have adult children at home. My dad and my brother thinks it's time they stood on their own two feet! But what's the rush to do the adulting? As long as I can do the things I want to I'm happy. :o)
I think you’re right about the taboo around still having kidults living with you, Karen.
Our youngest is back and burned out with us & I love that he feels safe & secure with us. Thats what we are for aren’t we?
Thanks for reading & providing your insight.
Kidults! Ha ha...
Yes we have had one burned out, one with anxiety and they're doing a lot better now. We all get along and they all (mostly) contibute in some way.
I was nodding along here Sharon! Us and our kidults...it's a different relationship but just as special. I miss so much about the younger years now the kidults growing up and independent - mine are 29, 27 and 23 - but I love the new relationships that are developing - and the ones I now have with their partners (which makes it even sadder if there are break-ups!) I totally feel for Mr B because my Mr B (#StressedHusband) sounds very similar...they keep it in when the kids fly off and I sort of think it's because they're doing it for us. Not that they are in any way the less important parent, but it feels like they know they need to dial down their feelings so they can support us with ours as empty nest mums - which is lovely of them. Like you, I'm loving the reconnecting with #StressedHusband now the kids are older - realising that I actually like spending time alone with him and after 33 years he still makes me laugh! Great post Sharon. xx
Everything you've said too, Lisa. I guess it's the way of the world of parenting. I'm so glad my boys like and love us enough to continue the adventures as you with your kids. I love having grown up adventures with them. But just like you now having the time of your life in Canada the empty nest adventures are sooooo good x
I felt exactly the same but I was single. So when one and the other went I hated it and this, as well as a lot of other things that had recently happened, meant I had a breakdown. But we’re all out the other side and my boys are happy but I still have that little pang when I realise they don’t live with me any more.
A hard time I'm sure, Paula. Sorry to hear it resulted in such a tough time for you but glad you came through. Life's challenges, hey?
I know what you mean by the pangs though. I still have them when our eldest has visited or whenever I've stayed with him 💗
Just cried reading this Sharon! 💔
On no, Alex!! I hope you can feel the positive side too, though? You've got it to come but not yet for a while ❤️
I think I just feel emotional today as it's my eldest's last 'first day' at primary school! So I know uni a long way off but I could just imagine the feeling when I was reading this! Yes of course, there's definitely some positives - will have to have a new hobby ready to start when they fly the nest!
Oh there’s so many milestones we have to go through as parents. I can still remember those days too. Looking back I honestly can’t believe how quickly it all came around.
That purse drying up is a constant isn’t it Gail? 😆