I am so sorry for your loss. My younger brother died almost 32 years ago. The memory of that day and what happened still has the power to hurt so bad it takes my breath away. It happens way less than it used to but it still happens from time to time. Don't ever feel bad about talking about your brother. He is and will always be a part of you. You are allowed to celebrate him and if others have a problem with it, that's their problem! So share your stories and smile because that love you have will live with you for the rest of your life.
Thankyou for taking the time to share about your brother with me. I often feel now 18 months in that there’s only me and my mum that talk about him. Everyone else just seems to be like he never existed. I hate that about how we all are about death. Never talking about the dead person anymore 🤷🏼♀️
I will tell you, some don't talk about him because they are afraid it will "remind" you, like somehow or another you have forgotten. They really are trying to not cause you pain. We also censor ourselves with others because we don't want to have to explain, and we don't want to deal with the inevitable reaction we get. I'm sure you know the one I mean; it starts with I'm so sorry and ends in awkward silence. My son died a little over 4 1/2 years ago. I was afraid to talk about him for the longest time for that reason. Now, most people who hear me talk about my son do not know he is dead, and that's OK. He is still my son and and lived. He still lives as a part of me. So don't censor yourself, talk about him. If others ask then tell them. Show them that yes, there is sorrow in the memories, but there is also comfort and even joy in the memories of the brother you love.
I am so sorry for your loss. The psychiatric world likes to talk about the "stages' of grief. I lost my parents within a few short years of each other, and I am still dealing with it a decade later. I don't think you ever really get over the grief. You just learn how to absorb it into your every day. I still have triggers too. But know you will get through this.
You are right too about absorbing it into your every day and yes there are always so many triggers. I had one this morning which made me come back to read this again.
Perfectly written Sharon. It doesn’t get smaller, you grow around it. It doesn’t get easier, you learn to live your life around it. Sending love, the milestones are difficult. x
I am so sorry for your loss. My younger brother died almost 32 years ago. The memory of that day and what happened still has the power to hurt so bad it takes my breath away. It happens way less than it used to but it still happens from time to time. Don't ever feel bad about talking about your brother. He is and will always be a part of you. You are allowed to celebrate him and if others have a problem with it, that's their problem! So share your stories and smile because that love you have will live with you for the rest of your life.
Thankyou for taking the time to share about your brother with me. I often feel now 18 months in that there’s only me and my mum that talk about him. Everyone else just seems to be like he never existed. I hate that about how we all are about death. Never talking about the dead person anymore 🤷🏼♀️
I will tell you, some don't talk about him because they are afraid it will "remind" you, like somehow or another you have forgotten. They really are trying to not cause you pain. We also censor ourselves with others because we don't want to have to explain, and we don't want to deal with the inevitable reaction we get. I'm sure you know the one I mean; it starts with I'm so sorry and ends in awkward silence. My son died a little over 4 1/2 years ago. I was afraid to talk about him for the longest time for that reason. Now, most people who hear me talk about my son do not know he is dead, and that's OK. He is still my son and and lived. He still lives as a part of me. So don't censor yourself, talk about him. If others ask then tell them. Show them that yes, there is sorrow in the memories, but there is also comfort and even joy in the memories of the brother you love.
I am so sorry for your loss. The psychiatric world likes to talk about the "stages' of grief. I lost my parents within a few short years of each other, and I am still dealing with it a decade later. I don't think you ever really get over the grief. You just learn how to absorb it into your every day. I still have triggers too. But know you will get through this.
Thankyou so much for your kind words 💗
You are right too about absorbing it into your every day and yes there are always so many triggers. I had one this morning which made me come back to read this again.
Perfectly written Sharon. It doesn’t get smaller, you grow around it. It doesn’t get easier, you learn to live your life around it. Sending love, the milestones are difficult. x
Thanks so much Annette x